gregorygarver.com

Mustbe · Joined: 15 Jun 2007 Posts: 2

I have a Book that I am writing. What do you think I should Title it?

lillybreeze · Joined: 05 Dec 2005 Posts: 2

Barren - the monster

frankieb5232 · Joined: 29 May 2005 Posts: 2

Sensitive Shadowthe book needs work. it has a strong voice, yes, but you need to add more pictureesque things like metaphors, similes, allusions. you need to show us scenes and describe a little more. don't over do these things but do them. Google the "Elements of Fiction" and make sure you are including them to be successful. gl.

YourPropertyPath5488 · Joined: 27 Sep 2004 Posts: 4

It sounds more like a diary entry than a book

queenoflalaland · Joined: 18 Sep 2007 Posts: 8

I would have to have more to get a gist of what a good title would be! Keep on writing!Happy Thanksgiving!

Phoenix · Joined: 25 Feb 2005 Posts: 5

BreathlessInhaleExhaleFrostthe last breathI took the last breathtell me what you think thanksoh and omg! awesome writing, im loving it

smart-doctor-egypt · Joined: 25 Nov 2005 Posts: 4

From what you have written so far, it reads to me like you are going to go into the Indian, shape-shifter, shaman things, though of course I don't really know because there isn't enough here to be sure.Personally, unless you are Indian, I hope you don't go that route; it's better left alone. If you are Indian you won't do it anyway, you would know better... if anyone were around to tell you.If I am totally in the wrong, please accept my apology, and let's take a look at what you've written. It's always best to go back and take a look at things whenever the words stop crowding out; seemingly on their own sometimes, huh.You need to re-write; there are confusing passages for the reader, and the usual typos and things. Try to put yourself in the mind of a reader seeing this work for the very first time and read it that way.For me, I didn't know who was talking-- who the "he" was that was being referred to-- a few too many times. Once is too many really, but you have a few times here.And why does Macie seem interested in knowing something and then tune it out completely? Why is she so resistant to her dad's hugs? What would keep a person from seeing a wheel chair right away? Does or did she have a car or a truck? Things like that, you see?I suppose some questions will be answered later (hoping), but the flips between talking about a car and then a truck, the beginning of description on a walk to the tree with Haiden and then no description at all, the blind spots about the wheel chair, gaps in missing Carol... I don't know, somethings are just puzzling, to say the least.Still, I AM interested in the story, so that is very good. You have left some tantalizing starts out there. Sorry, I don't know what you should title it, except 'Working Title,' since it's not very far along yet. Don't worry about a title yet.Just keep on writing to your heart's content! Luck...