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BeenThereDonethat · Joined: 25 Jul 2005 Posts: 4

Ok there is this girl I really like and I think she likes me, but shes too far. Why me?My job doesn't pay enough ( im a teacher), but I'm seriously considering traveling to meet her. Maybe I need a new job in order to do this. I'm considering web design and 3d graphics. I know I am presuming a lot, but If things work out which I think they could, would she be able to get grants or aid to study here? Are there any legit jobs that might hire her from teh philippines to work here in the states? is it possible to bring her to the state to visit without being married?

godged0346 · Joined: 11 Feb 2006 Posts: 7

Be careful... of course YOU THINK she likes you......those women are looking for US citizenship...it happened to my friend

unisberkensap · Joined: 07 May 2004 Posts: 2

Your going to get used and thrown away like a used paper towel, that is unless you get outright murdered, then you will not get the chance to become the used paper towel!

Tmitty · Joined: 15 May 2007 Posts: 3

Go for it dude. goto courier.org and get a tick to manila for 500 round trip. you can get in a pension house hotel for $10 a day. thats with yer own bathroom and tv and aircon. If she not the one there are alot of great girls here.Filipinas love western men. They are not alll looking for green cards. but of course there is always 1 rotton apple in every bunch.She can only travel to the states to travel as a tourist if she has property and a business in the philippines. if she is middle class or poor she will need a fience visa. No grants to non-u.s. citizens at the u.s. collages and in fact u.s. collages will most likley chanrge her more if she is a new immigrant.

JoeB · Joined: 23 Aug 2007 Posts: 5

they all love western men because they are looking for a ticket to north america ..sorry I read so many stories of russian and fillipino women marrying ot get in the country then leaving the men infact my husbands best friend was used this way !!!!she wiped out his bank account to send the money to her family and then left him

BoomBoom · Joined: 06 Mar 2005 Posts: 8

i feel you pain, save up.. most girls dont really want to stay in the Philippines nothing here and it cant help their family..either save up and petition her k1 visa r whatever r find a good girl with double dds around you

marezandy · Joined: 09 Dec 2005 Posts: 3

Mate first of all you did a good job in picking a filipina girl. However and there always is, you must tread carefully from here on out. I'll answer your question the very best I can. Ok from what I've learnt in my 20 years about Filipino women and filipino's in general is that they are heaps bloody different to westerners such as yourself. First of all the most important thing to them is their family and they always come first. Life is also very hard in the Philippines and most of the people have the attitude where if its for the good of helping your family and surviving then its kinda ok to do. If that means marrying a white westerner then damn who's to say that they can't. By the way your job has nothing to do with this at all because you've stated that your not interested in marrying this girl so I'll move on to the next part.I would almost without a question of a doubt say that she wouldn't be able to get into the states without a fiance visa or something along those lines. Most of if not all Philippine qualifications are not recognised in the western world so that's why you see doctors from the Pines moving to america and such countries to be nurses and get paid even more than if they were in the Pines. So the point of that was it doesn't matter how qualified she was she wouldn't be able to get a decent job other than a cleaner or something that pays minimum wage. If I may add to what I know about Filipina women is that at they are complicated in both good and bad ways. The good first ofcourse, they are caring,compassionate,loving,funny and usually have great qualities for marriage. The bad and pay attention there is truth to all the bad things you hear about them aswell. I'm sure that you hear them all the time about filipinas marrying to get into countries for money and citizenship and there are probably alot more of them than we think. Filipina women are also very smart and know how to work that to their advantage and when they move out from there crap life in the Pines with a westerner they tend to forget where they come from after awhile and boy do they change bigtime.Some will charm you and get you to do things for you and then take as much as they can from you, ie money. But from my honest opinion the many positive things about them outway most of the bad things that are heard about them. They really do make good partners wether your single or married and I can say without a question of a doubt they are really damn good mothers in their own kinda way. Hope that shed some light for ya mate.One love!

insertnicknamehere · Joined: 22 Nov 2006 Posts: 5

I am married to a Filipina, and we love each other. We have a legitimate relationship and we've been together for 9 years. My first wife died from cancer, and she too was Filipina, but was a US citizen when I met her and we were together for 9 years before her death. I think there is a problem for you with this girl, but not because you met her by internet but because she met you by internet. Sadly, Filipina women are rather conservative. Even if a girl works in a bar as a malandi, she is probably a shy and conservative malandi by what you would consider. No matter what the girl will have a vision of a proper courtship and what she considers the proper way of meeting. She would like to meet her true love, her true husband, in a respectable setting, not online necessarily. She will expect that he has a sense of respect, and is god fearing. If you met a girl in a bar, she will have disrespect for you for finding her in a bar. But if you met that same girl in the mall everything changes about you in her heart. So what to do....First, you must follow Philippine courtship traditions. So that means you need to make friends with filipino women and men and get real time advice before you do or say anything. There are some basics you will need to follow if you truly wish a sincere and legitimate relationship. First remember that all the bad things people wrote you above are being written to her about how you will take advantage of her and use her for sex, and abuse her, and can't find a real woman back home. She will be told you are helpless are a loser and that's why you are settling for her.So if that's not true you must make sure she knows it in a subtle but defining way. In a traditional and modern, and common filipino courtship, the engagement is not the important day for the Filipina. Its the day that you ask her to be your steady girl. 1. On your first times together treat her with respect, and do respectful things with her. Go to a church and pray!!! Be sure to ask her questions about her faiths and beliefs. 2. Meet her parents, but let her tell you when and where. Let her bring it up. Be very respectful, and polite and try to be sincere. 3. Don't get a hotel room on the first night and invite her in for sex. She might agree but she will lose any chance of thinking of your relationship as a truely legitimate one. 4. Spend time and go places together. Let her know at some point when you feel right that you can only marry for love. Express to her why you flew to meet her. Let her know how your heart feels. Explain to her why she caught her imagination and who she sets your spirit free. I can read some of this in your question but you will have to do better. On a romantic date, very planned out, propose intentions for going steady. You can't expect her to answer on that night, but you can ask her to tell you soon. 5. If she accepts, you can then hold her hand, and kiss her in a romantic way. Of course you can hop off the plan and kiss her and hold her right away but she will agree only because she thinks you want her for the wrong reasons and she will probably accept because she is desperate financially. The key is to convince her you are truly interested in a life long commitment.One problem that you have is that you don't have much money (I think). So you'll have to plan things out and of course this will probably be a long term relationship. At some point the sex quesiton will come up. And this is a tough one. Partly because its so expensive to go to the PI and you are probably horny. But I'm just not sure what to do. Ideally you should not have sex. It should not offend her. The next big question is what about her. Is she a good girl, is she a good wife. Is she worthy of your as you are of her. That's a tougher question. Technically, your actions will help a lot. But if she is low quality person there's nothing you can really change. So that's tough to figure out from across the ocean. In the PI most Filipino men will not marry a woman who is not a birhen. And even if you did the woman might think you have a problem for accepting a girl who is not a birhen. Even if you ask, she would just lie, and you shouldn't ask. The best thing is to know if she had a serious relationship before. That's a big question. And you need an answer and a truthful answer early on. If you find out this is untrue later you should consider leaving her and breaking up. In the PI engagements are not special days, most Filipina woman cannot describe to you their engagement, so put a lot of effort into that proposal of intentions (to go steady). That's really the enagagement to her.

cats · Joined: 17 Jun 2006 Posts: 6

Be careful Fred. Thats all I can say....