gregorygarver.com

TMS · Joined: 01 Oct 2005 Posts: 4

A month ago, I began to chat to a guy off net, a little older than me, 39 to my 31, over time we were chatting most nights, and it soon evolved into regular texting and then lengthy phone calls. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I agreed to meet him on the night of the Ruby World Cup final, and when I arrived, much to my surprise, he was there with a good friend of mine - who seemed to be drunkenly doing everything in his power to get him to go home with some guy who had been chatting him up all evening. Soon after the end of the match, we left and went on to a small restaurant and wine bar and we had a good night together; later he dropped me off home, and as I went to get out of his jeep, he lent across and kissed me. In the week leading up to the October Bank Holiday weekend, I had been planning to visit the UK to see my parents, but due to a argument with them, I decided not to go, but having spent all of the last week telling everyone I was going to the UK, I decided to let the assumption hold that I was still was, for no sinister reason other that I didn't want to have to explain myself to anyone. Instead I was going to do some much needed study, catch up on my sleep, watch TV, and have some alone time without any interruption. During the week, this guy had made, what I took to be a throw-away offer, of driving me over on the ferry, which for allot of reasons, but mainly due to the fact that I had only met him in the flesh the weekend previously, I didn’t think it politic to take up and I declined his offer, and thought nothing more of it. On the bank holiday Friday night, about 11pm, I got a phone call from this him, saying that he was on his way home and would be passing by my house, I replied that he was welcome to drop in for a coffee and a chat, which he did, and he ended up staying the night. We spent most of the morning in bed, and every now and again he would ask what time my ferry was at, I just avoided the question, saying not to worry, and that I would get there in my own time. By the time 4pm had come, and I wanted my own space, and made the excuse that I needed to get washed, get packed and head to the port; so he had his wash, dressed and left, in what I thought was high spirits.Later that night I got a text asking me if I had made the ferry, I replied that I had not, and because I was feeling guilty about my misleading him earlier, ask if he was available to meet me tomorrow. I got a text back to say that he was not, and that he was very disappointed in me, I immediately rang to apologize and explain the reason why I had behaved the way I had. He told me that he had a packed travel bag in his jeep, and had driven straight to the ferry port after he left my house, where he had booked a ticket to Holyhead, and had waited for me to arrive, and how he had booked a B&B close to where he thought my family were staying. I explain that this was all news to me, and if he had told me of his plan I would have perhaps reconsidered my own. He sounded upset, very angry and a little drunk, and kept banging a table and shouting at me to tell him “Why” I had lied to him, and kept calling me a “duplicitous liar”, which put me on the defensive and made me rather uncooperative about opening up on the reason behind my deception. He kept asking me how come I didn’t know what he had planned, hadn’t it drawn on me he had planned this due to his knowledge of the ferry time table, his constant asking of when I was leaving for the port, as well as the fact the he had "very obviously" engineered his visit on Friday night in order to drive me to the ferry port the following day. In the end I had to explain to him the reason I hadn't gone to see my parents, which I did not want to do, because it was unpleasant to recount the reason. He told me, that there was no good reason to have deceived him, that he wanted nothing more to do with me, how disappointed he was with me, how close to falling in love with me the previously night (which I thought was a bit strong), how I wasn't a gentleman, that he couldn't trust me, and if had “caught” anything from me, he knew were I lived…All this has played on my mind; I am aware that I should have be honest about my travel plans, but I didn’t think that my actions were worthy of such an outburst. It has all left a nasty taste in the mouth, as I believe he thinks that I had in someway maliciously mislead him for my own amusement.I would like to hear your comments and views on this matter; is he justified in is reaction, am I indeed a dishonest bastard?

MarkD · Joined: 14 Apr 2005 Posts: 7

Can u add a lil more to read? lol

nystom · Joined: 18 May 2007 Posts: 4

drama queen

DonE · Joined: 20 Mar 2007 Posts: 10

Try shortening the details a bit. I bet you've lost a lot of people here with your rambling. Just being honest.

henri_le_rennet · Joined: 21 Jun 2005 Posts: 8

I think this is unlucky situation, i'm glad u know where you went wrong, but maybe he should have told you what he was planning on doing, i think it wouldn't hur to tslk to him again and maybe arrange a weekend away together to repair a little of the damage and try to build your relationship stronger, if he rejects this idea how about somet nice like flowers, but it's up to you really, if you think he isn't worth t and it wouldn't work out then don't bother, but if you thinki he was something special you should try and mend it, all tho he does sound as tho he has a little anger problem. good luck and best wishes Very Happy

TobyPartly · Joined: 31 Jul 2005 Posts: 4

what do you mean by " if he had "caught" anything from you"? were you not protecting yourself? how nasty!! sounds like you both have issues. lol

lremmell64 · Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 7

While you should have been honest with him, his reaction was totally unjustified. He way over reacted. First for him to assume that he COULD make those plans, without having spoken with you was just a tad premature. And how the heck were you to know that he had planned anything. I mean, come on, by that insane thinking he should have known you weren't planning on going by the way you avoided the topic. And after only a month for him to be falling in love, and having only met two times in person.. Right.... If that is how he acts, then I dare say it's better to know now then down the road.

csalongaphillips · Joined: 07 Mar 2007 Posts: 8

I think your better off with him going his own way. He took way too much for granted way to fast. I hope you haven't ended up with a stalker. His remarks later was way out of line and does not sound like one who is completely stable emotionally. Falling in love with you (I know there is such a thing) being disapointed, feeling you set out to decieve him. No, as I said I really think your better off. Don't let it worry you.

1-2informationalways · Joined: 15 Jul 2002 Posts: 7

by the sounds of it ur better off out of it mate

cliffie · Joined: 25 Jul 2005 Posts: 6

You said he sounded a little drunk. Talk to him when he is sober.

rosettasellsrealestate · Joined: 24 Apr 2003 Posts: 4

Your name isn't John Winston Howard is it?Rose P.

MrPeanut · Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 3

He sounds a little bit on the wacko side to me. I say good riddens to him. You didn't do anything wrong, he should have never assumed taking a weekend with you (when you had other plans, spending it with your family) without letting you know in advance. I think you should be mad at him.Good luck.